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2 Simple Ways to Connect with your Child Through Music

By Noel Anderson, Director of Anderson Music Therapy February 18, 2019

2 Super Easy Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship Through Music

 1. SINGABLE BOOKS

 The first easy way to approach attachment with music is through singable books. You can check out some great ones HERE or search "singable books" on Pinterest for lots of ideas. Reading books to your child is an important bonding experience. Both parent and child are engaged with the same item, attuned to each other.

 This increases intimacy and engagement.  Adding a musical element enhances that experience by providing an emotional element as music naturally elicits emotions. Music lights up our limbic and paralimbic brain structures, which are responsible for every aspect of our emotions. How cool is that!

 You also increase the chance that the child will remain engaged, because music engages our attention. Music activates many parts of our brain simultaneously, which is why it’s so engaging. It’s multi-sensory! With emotions and attention engages, you have a firm foundation for building a secure attachment.

With emotions and attention engaged, you have a firm foundation for building a secure attachment.

Another benefit of using music is that you can repeat the experience time and time again and it still is enjoyable. This helps to solidify attachment and decrease previous stress responses that the brain might have subscribed to in the past.

 This helps to solidify attachment and decrease previous stress responses that the brain might have subscribed to in the past.

2. SING!

Another easy method of bonding is simply singing together. Sharing favorite songs and singing them increases attunement, listening to one another, and emotional and social connection. When we make music with other people it can releases the chemical oxytocin, which is a bonding chemical.

When we make music with other people it can releases the chemical oxytocin, which is a bonding chemical.

So music can help strengthen the process of healthy attachment. Also, with the anticipation of one’s favorite song dopamine is often released, so it can increase one’s mood as well, creating a positive experience when music making. You may know dopamine in relation to another idea, the reward center of the brain.

Each time our reward center is activated by dopamine, we will crave the situation that provided dopamine. So, if your musical experience releases dopamine, your child will crave more time with YOU! 

So, if your musical experience releases dopamine, then your child will crave more time with YOU! 

TWO important points when singing and interacting with your child... 

1) Be sure to use FACIAL EXPRESSIONS and mirror your child's expressions, especially with younger children! This is important to their social-emotional development.

2) EYE CONTACT is so important to a strong attachment, particularly with little ones. Eye contact demonstrates you are present and connected to your child. 

So be sure to give your FULL attention (eye contact, listening ears, and singing voice) to your child to keep that connection growing!

Music is a natural way, particularly for children, to increase emotional connection and bonding. Given just our voices, we have the power to bond with our children.

Music is so much more than just entertainment. It is a powerful force for change!

Learn more about using music to regulate your child's emotions by watching this helpful video, from Noel Anderson, MMT, MT-BC, Director of AMTS and Growing Through Music


Read more about attachment and strengthening your connection with your child here.

Join Noel's ~ Online Community for Busy Moms ~ Growing Through Music:

We help busy moms be the superhero’s they are, by creating meaningful moments and boosting brain development through musical interaction at home. 

If you've ever felt mom-guilt for not spending enough quality time with your child, this is the best way to throw that feeling out the window and connect with your child.

Join our Facebook community to connect with supportive moms and learn how to use music for brain development and connection.